The Christmas Party of Doom
by Erratta
Summary: When the ghosts can't find a suitable place in the Ghost Zone for their Christmas party, they turn to the only ghost with a large enough place in the human world: Vlad Plasmius.


I wrote this by request at deviantART recently, and since it's oneshot length, fun, and Christmassy, I figured I'd post it here as well. Also, if there's interest, I might post the other requests I've done so far. Maybe.

I don't own Danny Phantom or the Green Bay Packers, and neither does Vlad.

**The Christmas Party of Doom**

"So tell me again why we can't use Pariah's Keep this year?"

"Because that ghost boy ruined it when he defeated him and we can't find a ghost brave enough to fix things. They're all afraid Dark will wake up again."

"Right. And the Prison's out too, is it?"

"Inmates celebrating? That's against the Rules."

"And after the Dragon Castle disaster back in 1746…. _Are_ there any other gathering places big enough for the Christmas Party?"

"Not in the Ghost Zone."

"Are you suggesting we hold it in the _human world_?"

"No. I'm just saying that there's nowhere in the Zone."

"But what if we compromised?"

"Compromised?"

"Some ghosts have haunts in the human world. We could use one."

"Like Phantom?"

"Yes, but not _his_ haunt. He violated the truce last year. He might do it again."

"Plasmius has a mansion, and it's remote enough."

"He's a little antisocial, isn't he?"

"_Nobody's_ antisocial at _Christmas_! Besides, he has to honour the truce just like the rest of us."

"So who's going to tell him?"

Silence.

Vlad Masters sat at his mahogany desk and glared at the piece of glowing paper Skulker had nervously delivered to him several weeks ago. Try as Vlad might, he couldn't find a single loophole in the thing, which meant that he would be playing host to the 967th Annual Ghost Zone Christmas Party in about six hours time. Why _him_? What in the name of everything sweet and sticky had he _done_ to deserve _this_?

Giving up all hope of legal action, Vlad frustratedly shot two beams of red ectoenergy out of his eyes and incinerated the letter announcing that he'd been selected as the newest host of the Party and politely reminding him of the truce and the penalties for breaking it. Then he stood up, transformed into Plasmius so his secret wouldn't be revealed to more ghosts than absolutely necessary, and stalked downstairs to make sure that his Packers collection wasn't being destroyed.

Five minutes later, Vlad Plasmius, resplendent in red cape and blue skin, was standing between the double doors of his largest ballroom and shielding his solid red eyes with his right hand in utter mortification that he was even _partly_ like these people. He'd expected something like the scene that now greeted his eyes when he met the Head Decorator, Holly Prancer, who'd dressed for the occasion in a sexy Mrs. Claus outfit with an antler headband and a tinsel boa (or was that actually her normal attire?). He hadn't expected things to be quite this bad, though.

There wasn't an inch of the walls that didn't have something red, green, silver, or gold on it, and nothing seemed to have been put up with a plan in mind. The twenty-foot Christmas tree had so many baubles and lights on it you couldn't even see the needles. Presents spilled out for six feet around its base. All glowed, and some moved. There was a holly border around every window and door, and that probably meant that someone had hit upon the idea to place mistletoe in the entranceway and he should probably uncover his eyes and mo-

_Smack!_

Vlad brought his hand down and met the green eyes of Penelope Spectra's humanoid form. She gave him a glittering smile.

"Sorry, couldn't resist a kiss with the host." She flew off as quickly as she'd appeared to continue helping with the preparations. Vlad examined the chaotic ballroom again, groaned, and flew over to the nearest wall, where he started putting down decorations. If he had to suffer through this night, he was going to suffer in a room that at least looked decent. Within thirty seconds he was attacked by three different ghosts for being a scrooge, but he managed to explain that he was just trying to make everything better for the night, and soon had even Holly take orders from him.

Once the ballroom was in a state that Vlad could bear to look at it, he left to make sure that similar disasters hadn't occurred elsewhere.

The Lunch Lady and the rest of the caterers had taken over his kitchen the moment they'd arrived through his Portal, but the only signs of obsession that they were exhibiting were several pyramids of cookies taller than him. Vlad had a plate of sugar cookies forced on him as he left contentedly and made his way to the front hall.

Once there, the vampiric ghost stopped and blinked. The ghost who'd been assigned to decorate this room was sitting on top of the box of decorations and crying. He hadn't even made an effort to brighten the place up. This wouldn't do at all.

Vlad quickly flew across the room, grabbed the crier's shoulders, and shook him several times.

"Why are you crying?" he snapped. "You're supposed to be decorating, and you just sit there _crying_?"

"The, the P-p-packers!" The ghost buried his face in Vlad's shoulder and began crying again. Vlad was taken aback.

"The _Packers_?" he asked. "You're crying because of the Green Bay _Packers_?"

The ghost stopped crying somewhat, seized the edge of Vlad's cape, and blew his nose. Vlad flinched, and turned it intangible once the ghost had let go.

"I, I was s'posed to be a qu-quarterback for them, b-b-back in the f-fifties," the ghost told Vlad. "I never got to… K-killed on my w-way to the f-f-first…."

Vlad's anger dissipated. This ghost had obviously obsessed about playing for the Packers for fifty years, and Vlad admitted, though very, _very_ reluctantly, that he was obsessed with owning the team. He pulled the former football player to him in a manhug, then cracked a smile at him.

"All right. How's this? You decorate the hall, and I'll show you my Packer's viewing room."

"_You'd do that?_" the ghost asked thickly and with great hope.

"Of course I would. Here, I'll even help you get started." Vlad picked up a garland that had fallen out of the ghost's box and pulled his companion upright. They made quick work of the room, and then Vlad led the football ghost up to the second floor and his round-the-clock viewing room. He tore himself away reluctantly, since there was no knowing what everyone else was getting up downstairs. After a quick scout of the outlying rooms, Vlad went back to the ballroom, which seemed to be the center of activity. Or had been, at any rate.

Every ghost who'd been involved in the setup for the evening was outside playing in the snow. Klemper, Skulker, Poindexter, Youngblood, Walker, and Wulf were having a ghost-power enhanced snowball fight, while Spectra, Holly, Lunch Lady, Desiree, and the other female ghosts were apparently holding a snowman contest. Vlad smirked. If everyone was enjoying themselves outside, he could get a bit of peace and quiet in here before the chaos truly started.

The phone rang.

Vlad's face fell and he stalked off to answer it.

"Hello?" he said, almost snarling.

"Merry Christmas, Vlad! Just calling to say I'm sorry I couldn't be at the party this year. It's great of you to host it. I didn't know you had this much Christmas spirit!"

"I _don't_, Daniel," Vlad said flatly. "My mansion was the only place large enough. It was forced on me."

"_Right_, of course! How could I have thought a fruitloop like you would actually be nice to people?" Danny was probably grinning ear to ear right now. He was certainly laughing.

Vlad was beginning to get angry. "I _can_ be nice to people, Daniel. I'm a human being after all."

"Coulda fooled me," Danny muttered. "Anyway, I've got to go, so, um, Dad says hi, Mom says to get lost, and the Box Ghost should be delivering my present to you pretty soon."

"_Who?_" Vlad asked just as the line went dead. He slammed the receiver back into the cradle and whirled around to go protect the gifts from that idiot ghost. He was forced to stop in mid stride by a large floating tray of cheese. The Dairy King appeared when he saw Vlad and beamed behind the flashing red ball strapped onto his nose.

"Merry Christmas! Brie?"

Vlad pushed passed him roughly and ignored the yells of "Scrooge!" and "Cheese hater!" that echoed down the hallway behind him. He was so angry with Daniel and worried about the sort of problems the Box Ghost was capable of causing with the presents downstairs that he didn't even notice when said ghost appeared right in front of him holding a slim package wrapped with black and green paper. In fact, Vlad only noticed him when he was several inches away and already had a foot through the balcony in preparation for his trip downstairs.

"Gyah!" He was thrown off balance by his surprise and plummeted down in the Packer's shrine he'd helped decorate earlier. The Box Ghost floated down after him, handed him the present, shouted "Merry Christmas! Beware!" and flew off.

Vlad undid the paper then and there, since Daniel's gift was likely to be embarrassing. He gaped at it when he got it open. Daniel had sent him an autographed photo of the Packers as they had been during his college years. This wasn't embarrassing at all! Vlad had just the place for it.

He'd just finished putting it in the main display case when there was a loud electronic whine from the direction of the ballroom, and the lights went out. Vlad glowered and flew through the wall into the ballroom, where a blue-skinned, blue-haired girl in black was yelling at a green ghost in a trenchcoat for blowing the fuse on her. He landed beside her and began verbally laying into Technus for his irresponsibility as well before Holly returned from outside and separated them. Then Vlad went to fix the fuse himself because he wouldn't even trust the "Master of Technology" with a string of Christmas lights.

Vlad was just slamming the fuse box shut in the lab when the guests truly began arriving and he had to force a pleasant smile onto his face and exchange pleasantries with them. Once the stream of ghosts through his Portal had died down, he set up a sign in the middle of the lab that read "Upstairs and down the hall" and followed his own directions up to the party.

The ballroom was buzzing with chatter and Vlad paused in the doorway admiring everything. His hard work had paid off. Everyone was having fun, the room would look normal if the decorations weren't glowing, there seemed like plenty of treats for everyone, Ember had struck up rock versions of Christmas songs, and the Box Ghost was presiding over gift distribution. Maybe this evening wouldn't be so bad after all….

Five ghostly women planted kisses on his face at the same time. Holly, who'd gotten him on the lips, seized him by the shoulders and grinned excitedly below her antlers.

"Thank you so much for hosting this, Plasmius! You've done so much to help out!" she bubbled. "Everyone's already saying this is the party of the century. We're going to have to come back here next year! It's perfect!"

She caught him up in a giant hug of joy that defeated whatever was left of the menacing air he'd be trying to hold onto for the last few hours, but it didn't catch him off guard enough.

"Next year?"


End file.
